Oh! The Irony

Aboard my Vespa, a pit stop, a little splash and dash… the perfect Martini.

Things are looking Grimm.

The irony is; tonight, just as the sun is setting…no, no, no.

Just as the result of the ‘No confidence’ vote on our bothered, bewitched and bewildered leader is announced I will be sat with the ‘Bird Man’ watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. We know how this looks, we just don’t care… we could have been watching the football, but it is less tribal…

I have checked the names of all the Dwarfs and, even including those that were left out from the original sixteen, there wasn’t one called, Spiteful, Two-Face or Trump!

In three days Snow White will be 81, older than me, younger than my mother, more like my stepsister… even Uncle Walt couldn’t have dreamt up such a saga. I am struggling to see who will emerge to usurp Paul O’Grady as the wicked stepmother, but it does seem as though they are lining up more like the ugly sisters of Cinderella, and even after a haircut they are still trying to squeeze their pudgy feet into a glass slip-on.

And my apologies to Julian, but as Mr Clary would say, “they are sure to feel a cold hand on their entrance”, and be snubbed underneath the mistletoe above the door of number 10, step forward widow Twankey, take one for the team!

And as she eats, shoots and leaves, she turns in her kitten heels:

You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk… You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot…

I am of course innocent in all this; the ‘Genie of the Lamp’, ready to be rubbed up the wrong way, however I will grant, but few wishes.

The Sun King has had his, I didn’t realise he was going to spend half a millions euros on plates, €62,000 on hairdressing, usurping M .Hollande and €26,000 on makeup in 3 months. Why would he need it, even in Ultra HD, he is so young and fresh faced, perhaps he wants to venture out amongst his people incognito, sporting a yellow gilet!

The Donald has had his, the fact he doesn’t believe in Father Christmas was the final straw hair piece!

The Fairytale of New York? Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day!

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