Please be warned this Newsletter does take on a slightly adult theme at several points, not that my childish nature has ever worried any of you before, well apart from a minor celebrity (now removed from the list), but you have been warned. Those of you who want to come back as me take note, not is all as it seems…
I have used my emergency powers, built a picket fence, to keep the golfers (sic.) out, laid down the law, told the clouds to take a hike…
Spring has sprung, snowflakes are gambolling in the streets, sunlight is finally reaching the extremities. Perseus has returned from a sojourn on mainland China to pour vitriol on my flames, no more aching side abs for he at the moment.
WARNING ADULT CONTENT:
On St. Valentine’s Day the earth moved for thousands of the residents of Surrey. Tremors were felt, and the estate agents of this delightful county were finally able to tell prospective buyers… “this is where the magic happens!” Apparently in those sleepy hollows, the age-old tradition of chucking your keys in a bowl continues with seismic consequences, measurable on the Richter Scale. Was it an earthquake, was someone at it with a ‘jackhammer’, did they chip a tooth, or just drilling for oil?
Surrey residents, answers on a postcard please. I will reply on a self-addressed envelope SWALK!
Normally when writing these love letters to my faithful readers, I am hunched over my laptop on a flight to somewhere, from somewhere, or on a slow boat to China. Invisible Touch by Genesis playing in the background… It will become translucent later on!
However, on this rare occasion I am relaxed, dare I even say, mellow as I stare out over Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong, tapping away gently at my keyboard from my stunning room at The Murray on Cotton Tree Drive. Recently opened and in all its glory. Slightly boutiquey, slightly edgy, youthful in its opulence, traditional in its values. The views of the city from Popinjay’s restaurant on the 26th floor are truly breath taking.
There we go… the plug for this edition is out of the way early doors Johnny Mac.
Over a wonderful dinner the other night in Popinjay’s, conversation turned to the impenetrable nature of my Newsletters, which had left several people bewitched, bedazzled and bewildered. I was taken to task over my penchant for red Lycra by the very person who had suggested we do something special for a friend’s birthday several years ago. He clearly didn’t know me as well as he thought, although he spends a great deal of his time high on ethanol, or methanol, or is that just petrol in his head? We are now friends electric…
I move on to matters of fashion, as this is what I am purported to do!
WARNING ADULT CONTENT:
The summer collection this year draws heavily on the latex theme and involves more than the gossamer touch of the Emperor’s new clothes. Part of my inspiration were the products made by two giant, global brands.
Pure genius. I reign Supreme
I expect you all to be ‘flexing’ this look this summer…
My first inspiration was Harmony hairspray with its firm, invisible hold, because is he, or isn’t he wearing it?
Secondly, my heartfelt thanks to Du2ex. No Emperor’s wardrobe would be complete without an outfit for the bedroom, modern Hugh Heffners take note. In collaboration, they have produced the perfect companion for the bedroom. I introduce; the Du2ex invisible, no latex, slightly or unsightly it’s a case of is he, or isn’t he wearing one? The Memberor will be perfectly attired in all his Morning Glory.
But beware, as I said; all is not what it seems… there is a drawback, objects in the mirror can appear larger than they seem, the Invisible has its limitations, and I know that with its dimensions of:
Circumference: 2.04″ Length: 7.5″ Thickness: Invisible
It may not be for everyone. My membership remain as avid fans!
I will finish on a cleaner, fresher note.
The bathrooms at The Murray are fitted with a Japanese style toilet that have a remote control and a heated seat. Imagine my surprise when I managed to get Netflix and chill!
Copyright © 2019 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.