Firstly, please note that after this evening the shop will be closed until lunchtime on Tuesday 23rd April.
Secondly, I am thinking of becoming a Member for Parliament. With my liberal views on oil and sundry, I am sure I can garner huge support, with a massive fan base both within the M25, and on an international scale, would that be enough to carry me home? I fear not.
Parliament is once again in recess… and it will be on a further 91 days; then plus another 32 days lost because of weekends, it leaves only 67 of the 190 days from the Easter break all the way up to the 31st October; in order for those so inclined to make some sort of decision.
We all know that Nero fiddled merrily away while Rome burned, but they’ll be doing it in Chiantishire, St Trop, cruising amongst the Greek Islands or Westward Ho!
There is not a hope in Hades that they will sit through any of the recesses to sort out the monumental debacle they have created. Mud so deep it could be Glastonbury, such is their commitment to resolving anything. Much like statistics, debating has the same hypnotic and stultifying effect on the senses.
Hands up if anyone has NOT fallen asleep in class.
By then the grass will be as tall as wheat, the Harvest Festival will have been and gone, and any of our esteemed members bobbing for apples wouldn’t have gotten their faces wet, such is their ability to pucker-up!
Even Jezza Corbyn dressed as an abbot, astride his ‘fatboy’, out there in the long grass with his hammer and sickle will be unable to find where it’s been kicked.
Perhaps our beloved darling bud has misread, then misunderstood Sun Tzu:
“He will win, he whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.”
Splitters! Divide and conquer…
I am a little worried by my friend little ‘M’. He hasn’t featured in a newsletter for a while, but he is doing his best to make a return. Those of you with a long memory will remember that his propensity for excess, was only matched by his propensity for largesse. But his WhatsApp messages have taken on an altogether darker tone. Talk of decamping to Belize, catching a wave in Costa Rica, raising turtles…OMG
However, he too is thinking of joining me in my quest for political freedom, he will be the brains, I will bring the drinks and the Easter Eggs, made from sugar free chocolate. There’ll be no fun for anyone at this rate…
Our party will hence forth be known as the ‘Killjoys’, and at some point King Arthur will have something to say about the damn Yankee!
We’re busy doin’ nothin’
Workin’ the whole day through
Tryin’ to find lots of things not to do
We’re busy going nowhere
Isn’t it just a crime
We’d like to be unhappy, but
We never do have the time…
But finally, I would like to wish you all a very Happy Easter. Have a wonderful break in the sun.
Copyright © 2019 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.