July Newsletter – 2013

July 32nd

I am saddened by the fact that none of you have angrily emailed to tell me the newsletter is late, but it shows how little you all care. Sad face emoticon!

I may say I have the hide of a rhino, but really deep down I am a gentle, sensitive soul.

It has been politely mentioned to me that I should put more product on the blog site.

So I will.

Look out for a deluge of photos.

Isn’t the weather fantastic!

Anyway, back to the star of the show, and this time it’s not me, but we are so similar we could have been separated at birth.

‘Dear Silvio’. Oh dear Silvio! The words, toys, out and pram always come to mind.

As my mate Sam says, “Dry your eyes”. So Silvio will on €500 notes, bunga, bunga.

He made be headed for prison, or not, but.

I’m sure in Silvio’s world, the prison warders will all be beautiful women, the uniforms will be slightly too starched, slightly too short and slightly too tight. They will tolerate his jokes and his delicate manners, and most importantly always pick up the soap for him in the shower.

At his age he wouldn’t want to bend over, all the blood may rush to his head and his hair might fall out.

However he will always be looking over his shoulder for that traffic warden. Search YouTube for Silvio Traffic Warden.  I’d be afraid, very afraid. Payback time!!!!

I have just returned from “Bella Italia”. It was 38C, and I managed a day of rest on Sunday.

I flew back from Bologna. This meant I had to buy a train ticket online; take a train from Florence to Bologna, and get a taxi from Bologna Centrale to the airport. This is a journey I have done many, many times before. As those pesky flea infested little meerkats say “simplez”; fidati, no it ain’t.

Firstly I tried to book a ticket online with Trenitalia, they don’t like American Express, must boost those Airmiles you know. So I chose to pay with PayPal. Trenitalia tell you, that they will text you and email you, your ticket. 24 hours later nothing. No I wasn’t panicking.

So instead of Trenitalia, I try Italotreno. American Express called me to say that someone maybe trying to use my card fraudulently. I admire their security measures, but I still don’t have a train ticket. Anyway, after finally answering the security question correctly I get my ticket, you’ll just have to guess what my tattoo says.

So my journey began. Relief; the train was on time, and I do like travelling by train in Italy. The journey takes 35 minutes and cost me €26. One of the things I loved about this journey is the view of the countryside. However 30 minutes later an announcement tells me that we are arriving at Bologna Centrale. It was like being on the tube, 200kph underground without coming up for air. I felt cheated. We all live in a yellow submarine.

It got worse. The old station at Bologna was a little dour, but at least you arrived at street level and you’d be out of there in a couple of minutes.

No more! It took me 15 minutes to get out of the station, after a 35 minute train journey, how time efficient is that? It’s now like a mixture between Westminster Tube Station and T5 at Heathrow. To get out of the new station, I had to take 5 escalators, cross vast acres of grey concrete, and then traverse the old station. Trust me you’ll need to arrive a day early to work out which platform you are leaving from and climb aboard.

Now a little plug. Silvio’s got thousands you know!

bemywine is an online wine retailer owned by some friends of Vash, Tony and myself. They specialise in special offers and because they are winemakers, they know a little about what they are talking about. I, on the other hand am a consumer not a connoisseur. I am occasionally dimly aware when the bottle is empty, but only occasionally as Vash ensures my goblet is always full. Vash is Czech for one-legged Elf! Well you should have seen him last Sunday. He followed me across the time portal, and warned me not to look in the bottom of my goblet, for fear I may see a toad. Sadly it will be worse it will only be me staring back.

Really? I never get that drunk, and as for seeing toads, once again we are back to the Zoo Bar, and they are too big to get into the goblet.

Anyway bemywine are offering a £10 discount on all orders placed, obviously terms and conditions apply, but be pleasantly surprised by their offering.  Here is the code for the discount: VOLPE10

If you go to the blog link at the top of the email there will be a link and a voucher on the blog site. Either will be valid.

bemywine voucher

bemywine voucher

Neil and Eugene are rocking Ibiza, and are soon to be joined by Ollie. Do I dare go? Can I cope with the levels of unbounded hedonism? Ohhhhh yes….

I will sleep on Neil’s roof, gently rocked to sleep by the music from Pacha. Be woken by the morning sun and the damn mozzies whizzing round my head. No that is not a euphemism for hangover, it is such a regular occurrence that, I know longer suffer from them.

I shall head for the beach, run miles on the sand. Well I have to get in shape because I will doing a half-marathon with Adam in October. Then cool off among the jellyfish in the warmth of the Med.

Then head for Amnesia to forget……………

Copyright © 2013 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

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