The Donald

Oh goodness, I’ve broken cover.

Everybody is headed for the Canadian Border, and even the Canadian Immigration website crashed when all the Americans realised Nigel Farage Donald had won.

The ‘Perfect Storm’ is brewing

First Brexit and then The Donald, the wind of change is blowing a gale and the only thing not moving is Donald’s quiff.

Apparently Francois Hollande is impeach, I thought Michael Portillo and I were the only people who wore that colour!

Monsieur Hollande should take a tip from Donald’s coiffeur, as it probably costs a great deal of money to arrange this particular topiary, something little Frankie is not shy of, at least Donald looks like he gets value for money. Frankie’s hairdresser has to deal with his helmet hair, where as the Donald’s had a helmet made to minimise the effect!

You just know that his head will appear on a dollar bill one day. Perhaps the billion dollar note, which he will be unable to use because no one will be able, or want to give him change.

Much like the €500 note.

The Helmet

The Helmet

Donald is now familiarising himself with the White House.

Where best to have the photos for Hola taken, perhaps add a condo, or a golf course and resort.

But apparently he is having problems accessing one or two areas. Some of the doors are locked and he is being shadowed by someone from the FBI telling him there is nothing to see behind them!

They’ve even removed anything with buttons on, including the remote controls and microwaves just in case he gets the midnight munchies, or needs to go for a Wikileak and it ends in Armaggedon, rather than a Pot Noodle. Just when Hillary thought she had first dibs on Jon Bon Jovi, you wouldn’t want to miss a thing!

I’ve heard that he may be given one of those telephones with the big keys, but it’ won’t be wired up, as Vlad the Lad will be listening in.

He’s got that sulky look on his face that he gets when he’s done something to upset Ivana and she is reading the riot act, and Hugh Hefner (is he still with us?) is off the Christmas Card list, even at 90 he’s been staying up all night!

Wandering in the hallways of the White House, Donald is suddenly confronted by a faun, and the faun beckons him into one of the many bedrooms. Donald thinks finally the magic will happen and he will understand the inner machinations and workings that go on behind those locked doors.

The faun opens a wardrobe door and ushers Donald through, his tiny hands pushing away Melania’s fur coats, on and on the two of them wander until Donald feels his feet starting to get wet and suddenly the path drops steeply away, and Donald is falling; faster and faster, then there is daylight and Donald is catapulted through the air landing with a huge splash in a giant swimming pool to huge cheers.

When he surfaces, next to him in the pool are Hugh Hefner and Snoop Dog, leading the cheering crowd is Hillary dressed as the white witch and directing a Mexican wave!

Hillary and the crowd shout in Unison, “Welcome to our all inclusive resort!”

In the real world the person that appears to be Donald is softening his stance, keeping Obamacare and talking not about building stonewalls, but fences he can sit on.

Have you noticed how his hair is parted on the other side, and do his hands do seem slightly larger?

Make mine a double!

Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

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