The Juxtaposition – My Missionary in Life

Please Note:

The shop will be closing at 15.30 next Saturday 15th June, and re-opening on Wednesday the 19th June at 11 am, and will also be closed on Tuesday 25th June, re-opening on Wednesday the 26th June.

STOP PRESS

Let’s get away from all the political shenanigans momentarily and concentrate on the things that really matter!

Justin Bieber has offered to take on Tom Cruise in the Octagon, that’s like the Pentagon, but with eight sides… If you ask me it’s a little one sided! But further proof that someone’s ego is making too much money. I have asspirations of being Kim Kardashian! OMG, LOL, LMAO, FUNEX, SVFX…

My Husky 430X

Oh! The juxtaposition…

In order that my bid for leadership is not derailed, I must admit to one or two failings.

Did I stumble, did I fall?

In this time of disclosure, I have to admit to paying TAX.

I was young foolish, listened to my accountant. It was peer pressure, my friends all did it, and I didn’t want to appear naïve. So even when it appeared in those little envelopes, I admit to paying my Class 1 NI.

Temptation lay at every turn, I’m waiting for my man, an envelope of Brown Sugar in his hand, until I Can’t feel my Face, my spending money neatly rolled into my Sterling Silver candy box, Sugar, Sugar you are my Candy Girl.

There was one occasion whilst I was cooking with Porcini, a unicorn in a Godzilla suit at my side, when a gust of wind blew my pile of notes off the table, only for them to find a home where they were owed, but I never touched them.

Anyway, it was only Monopoly money, I never passed Go, or rolled three doubles in a row. Pass the Dutchie on the left-hand side…

But I made my cash with Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills… and unwarranted intellectual kudos. According to my man Charlie, who has just dropped off a parcel.

Let him without sin cast the first die…

If you see with innocent eyes, everything is divine.

De Pefffel, has meanwhile suggested that we should raise the threshold from £50 to £80, to take anything of any Class out of the reach of poor people. Has he not learned the aspirational nature of humanity? The law of supply and demand? Sometimes less is more, well more or less!

God has a way of telling you are making too much money.

Next week I am taking delivery of my new motor.

On the way out is my Husqvarna 430X. It’s been amazing, but the driving experience has been a little lacking, and in all honesty watching this little fella bumping into things around the garden hasn’t filled me with joy. A Rolling Stone gathers no moss and all that…

So, step up the Mean Mower V2 with 0-100 mph time of 6.29 seconds the lawn will be done in a jiffy. Topping out at nearly 151 mph. 

Too much money, my elbow. I’ll be able to get the crop in that little bit quicker…

Copyright © 2019 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

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