Let us get the photos of the cute dogs out of the way.

Sputnik

Shifty

Bit

Meet Bit, Sputnik and Shifty. The trio collectively weigh in at a kilo… more or less!

However, as we know looks can be deceptive, there is a much darker side to all of them. Walk them at your peril.

In a week where the Tory party appears to look more and more, like a tangled fishing line, the BBC reported on surgeons concerns that dog walkers were at risk of serious injury from wrapping leads and leashes around their hands and arms.

Well, of course they are.

How stupid do you have to be? Any one who has any knowledge of ropes and ties will understand that dogs have absolutely no idea what a ‘safe word’ is! And as for even trying to use cat, squirrel or walkies, you are just asking for trouble. Have you ever seen a dog with a bone?

Er! On the other hand, cats are a completely different kettle of fish, but that’s opening up another debate that is likely to divide the nation.

Then there was the queue waiting to climb to the summit of Mount Everest. Beneath the layers of clothing I could make out Govie, BJ and SJ, Mattie H, Stewie, Rabid Raab, Trussedup, Leadweight, Wheyhey McVey and Jeremy Hunt. I had to cut and paste him, just in case my fingers slipped on the keys! No obvious nickname there…

They are all desperately searching for the oxygen of publicity, while apparently all the smart money is on Itbeggarsbelief in trap 7.

And all these politicians are like pop stars, you’re waiting for 5 when 4 turn up together, ‘Wannabes’, who ‘Never Give Up on the Good Times’, when May has said ‘Goodbye’, ‘2Become 1’.

‘Stop’! ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Go on, go and ‘Spice up Your Life’, just ‘Say You’ll Be There’, ‘Mama’. ‘In the Summertime’, when the sun is out ‘Let Love Lead the Way’. ‘Holler’, ‘Too much’? No gone on I can squeeze another one out!

‘Viva Forever’, remember please ‘Friendship Never Ends’…

Admit it you are now singing along.

Yes, you thought they had gone, but like so many politicians they are back. As if they never went away! Five Spice have become four, and they are still wowing their audiences. However, some fans complained the sound was so bad they couldn’t hear them. Nothing much has changed there; all I can say is thank heaven for small mercies… Well it was staged at Croak Park (sic.)

I will choose the silent disco.

Hopefully I shall get to Rocketman over the next week or so. I’m fairly certain that Sir Elton is still with us, so I’m trying to work out if this is slightly macabre or narcissistic.

As the afore mentioned ladies Spiced up the world, I suppose anything goes…

Copyright © 2019 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.