The Grand Old Duke of York

You do remember Spud U Like? Apparently, the jacket had been making a comeback!

The grand, old Duke of York… he had 10,000 men? Heavens, poor Bunty!

Look carefully at the photo above.

Then, there’s something I had suspected all along, but was clearly being kept from us.

Apparently, Phillip Schofield has been doing his own make-up! But for how long? Why were we not told this earlier? Hadn’t it been obvious all this time? Did it take social distancing for this little nugget to shine in public? So many questions, so little reason to answer.

Perhaps it’s time for pantomime. There is nothing like a dame!

By the way, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I had no idea…

Apologies for any innuendo!

Consequentially, as the shop is closed, my glass is over half full with creative juices… and perhaps a drop or two of Mescal. I have a tried Absinthe, which although vigorously stimulating the cortex, any slight over-indulgence induces a trance-like state from which my memory is wiped and there is no Recycle Bin to restore them from!

Perseus, is wfh… in South Pacific. He is lounging on a marble bench surrounded by elfen creatures, supplicating to his every wish, whilst he is overdosing on carbs, apparently, he calls it carb-loading… In my world anything you over administer intravenously ends in an overdose!

He is not taken with the temptations of luxury chocolate, a slab of Diary Milk, or Fruit and Nut will suffice. But there have been Whispers amongst his flock that the Easter Egg Saga has reached his ears.

To Perseus, this is a Drama, not a crisis… However, if required he will invoke the wrath of his father Zeus, should the overzealous nature of officialdom continue.

Corner shops have been allowed to open as essential businesses to sell essential items. According to one or two oversensitive sorts, Easter Eggs are not essential items, and these premises have been threatened with closure if they do not remove the said items from sale… Could you imagine it? The Supermarket chains are allowed to control the Easter Egg market, futures, commodities, frozen orange juice, the Duke’s are trying to corner the market! Heavens to Murgatroyd!

The ‘Mainstream Media’, and ‘The Mail Online’ (Perseus is an avid fan!) have started to blame social media for spreading fear, over-exaggeration, untruths and ‘Fake News’. Where do I begin with that one? The chicken, the egg, the pot, the kettle? Let me cross the road!

Somewhere lies the truth, meanwhile for my daily exercise I have either been walking or running, sometimes I get close to the edge of the Earth, and as yet vertigo has not got the better of me. Mike and I sit there dangling our legs off the edge above the abyss, discussing the veracity of Donald’s Tweets.

I am flatly denying that the Earth is anything but round.

Anyway, back to the Easter Eggs… I am looking forwards to Christmas and a variation of Turkey Twizzlers… As a turkey, would you vote for Christmas? See the photo below… Sugar Babes – Push the button!

And don’t forget the new stock, it is selling out, as one or two of you are beginning to find out!

Copyright © 2020 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved

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