shifty | Volpe

Let us get the photos of the cute dogs out of the way.

Sputnik

Shifty

Bit

Meet Bit, Sputnik and Shifty. The trio collectively weigh in at a kilo… more or less!

However, as we know looks can be deceptive, there is a much darker side to all of them. Walk them at your peril.

In a week where the Tory party appears to look more and more, like a tangled fishing line, the BBC reported on surgeons concerns that dog walkers were at risk of serious injury from wrapping leads and leashes around their hands and arms.

Well, of course they are.

How stupid do you have to be? Any one who has any knowledge of ropes and ties will understand that dogs have absolutely no idea what a ‘safe word’ is! And as for even trying to use cat, squirrel or walkies, you are just asking for trouble. Have you ever seen a dog with a bone?

Er! On the other hand, cats are a completely different kettle of fish, but that’s opening up another debate that is likely to divide the nation.

Then there was the queue waiting to climb to the summit of Mount Everest. Beneath the layers of clothing I could make out Govie, BJ and SJ, Mattie H, Stewie, Rabid Raab, Trussedup, Leadweight, Wheyhey McVey and Jeremy Hunt. I had to cut and paste him, just in case my fingers slipped on the keys! No obvious nickname there…

They are all desperately searching for the oxygen of publicity, while apparently all the smart money is on Itbeggarsbelief in trap 7.

And all these politicians are like pop stars, you’re waiting for 5 when 4 turn up together, ‘Wannabes’, who ‘Never Give Up on the Good Times’, when May has said ‘Goodbye’, ‘2Become 1’.

‘Stop’! ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Go on, go and ‘Spice up Your Life’, just ‘Say You’ll Be There’, ‘Mama’. ‘In the Summertime’, when the sun is out ‘Let Love Lead the Way’. ‘Holler’, ‘Too much’? No gone on I can squeeze another one out!

‘Viva Forever’, remember please ‘Friendship Never Ends’…

Admit it you are now singing along.

Yes, you thought they had gone, but like so many politicians they are back. As if they never went away! Five Spice have become four, and they are still wowing their audiences. However, some fans complained the sound was so bad they couldn’t hear them. Nothing much has changed there; all I can say is thank heaven for small mercies… Well it was staged at Croak Park (sic.)

I will choose the silent disco.

Hopefully I shall get to Rocketman over the next week or so. I’m fairly certain that Sir Elton is still with us, so I’m trying to work out if this is slightly macabre or narcissistic.

As the afore mentioned ladies Spiced up the world, I suppose anything goes…

For goodness sake, give me five minutes sojourn from travelling, and celebrating my birthday in order to write a newsletter.

I thought you’d all be glad of a rest from all this drivel, but I have been reminded more than once, that I hadn’t written anything in ages.

This has meant that I have had to break off from my Bacchanalian feasting long enough to press fingers on keys and give my own peculiar take on world events.

My birthday; if you were not aware occurs on All Saints Day, this was a source of mirth for one or two of you. Moi the third Duke of Pimlico in a vineyard in Bordeaux at 3am with my reputation?

But my thoughts are drawn to current affairs…. No, the news, not my private life. For heaven sake, do you have to look at everything from a juxtaposition? I tried it, my back has only just recovered, and I know there are some of you who will go home and try this tonight, I warn you it’s not what you think, so don’t blame me.

Politics on both sides of the Pond is starting to look like a really bad haircut, with politicians fighting for attention, like Donkey in the Shrek movies, pick me, pick me. Waiting for Simon to press his Golden Buzzer.

Unfortunately it seems our politics have never been more polarised and the speeches are being made from the wings each playing to their own gallery, too scared or unable to understand how to take the centre stage.

The Washington and Westminster villages are starting to look like bubbles where the people on the inside are the ones wielding the pins and seem set on trying burst them!

I leave it to the Bard to Prologue the scene:

Two households, both unalike in dignity,
In fair Parliament, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean….

After Shakespeare.

Jingoism Unchained, the people are set free, we are all headed for Candyland.

Europe meanwhile, has been enjoying an Indian summer, et ego quoque.

I decided that this year the celebrations would mirror those of Bacchus, but only after I had returned to the white isle for one last swim. I have a small secluded beach I run to, where I can guarantee that I will not be troubled by people requiring my sartorial advice, where I can be at one with nature.

S’estanyol

Even in the middle of October the water in Ibiza was warm enough for me not to require a layer of goose grease, anyway it would be a terrible waste of foie!

Neil was on sparkling form, we were going to cycle together now that we have formed the Inkadelic Cycling Club, but a short, sharp shower put paid to that and Neil decided that I required a little more work. Raoul my ‘waxer’ was mortified, but he does scare easily and Halloween was just round the corner. He just kept muttering, is that blood, real blood?

It was my intention to post a photo of Neil at work, but it has been censored following several complaints after I had posted it on Facebook.

Inkadelic Cycling Club Ibiza

Neil has finally put down some serious roots on the island, and is looking forward to moving into his new pad in D’alt Villa next year.

We both made a new friend this year and our thoughts are with this new friend and his dad after Shifty came off worse in an altercation with a car. Shifty is a miniature pinscher and those of you who are that way inclined can follow him on Instagram ‘Shiftys_world’.

Instagram shiftys_world

My life is full of rich experiences, whether someone is chucking pound coins at me and demanding that I dance, perhaps this is what it is like being at a West Ham game (it transpires that the rent on the Olympic Stadium is less than I pay for the shop, how does that happen?); or an older lady telling me how much she admires how I fill out my clothes, it appears I’m on to a winning streak!

Bordeaux by night

My birthday celebrations took place in Bordeaux and Saint Emilion, swanning, not swaying round a couple of Chateaux.

My private tour was organised by ‘Bordeaux with Elodie’.

http://www.bordeauxwithelodie.com/

I cannot recommend Elodie and Laetitia highly enough.

They organised two wonderful days around Bordeaux.

A marvellous tour of two vineyards in Saint Emilion, Chateau Guadet, which is one of only two Chateau in the centre of the village, full of history and eerie limestone tunnels.

http://www.chateau-guadet-saintemilion.fr/

This was followed by a tasting of some magnificent wines, and before you ask, that is a bottle of Chateau Angelus, and yes we did taste 8 wines. Hic!

If I must!

And I may have bought the odd bottle.

This was followed by lunch and a visit to a more modern set up, at the newly renovated Chateau Tour Saint Christophe, set in the beautiful rolling hills around Saint Emilion. Wonderful wines with a different structure.

www.vignoblesk.com

Laetitia drove us back to Bordeaux, via all the Chateaux of the area. The sun went down to end a perfect day.

Sunset over Chateau Angelus

The next day was spent at the Dune du Pyla, where I imagined I was Lawrence of Arabia… I can but dream, but by all accounts I have strange imagination and do not live in the real world.

Dune du Pyla

And lunch…… You can see the weather was kind.

La C(o)rniche

We have many new projects afoot including a 360 degree view inside the shop on both levels. Just drag the little dangly man on Streetview over the shop on Google Maps and by the power of the interweb you are beamed by Scotty straight onto the ground floor, press the lift button and the basement beckons.

There will be a new website, it will be attached to this blog and also as a separate entity and much more impressive presence on social media.

And if you have read all the way to the end, there will be a wine tasting soon, including some of the wines I brought back.

Volpe

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Five Spice

Better late than never – Bacchanalian celebrations continue