| OK, just because of your of FMO… NEW STOCK – Please don’t panic buy, there is enough to go around… Get yourself to the website… I wonder how many of you don’t get past my first few words. In your head, ‘ere he goes again, what the ‘eck is he on about. Tip – Stock up on candles, I lived through the winter of ‘73. Warming your hands on a naked flame is only fun for the first 5 minutes. Anyway, I am returning from Ibiza, and at last I can write these few words from the comfort of an airline seat. I had spent two days with Neil and Eugene, drinking Mezcal Penicillin in a hippy cafe… Any hallucinations were a figment of my imagination. You may think that I am unhappy that Boris is on holiday, far from it… I am overjoyed. It would be hypocrisy on the level only ventured to by Government Minsters, and I would prefer a Prime Minister who is fit for purpose. Our journey to hell should have someone at the reins of the handcart, and he was desperate to have that job. Let’s get it done… During my journey into ayahuasca I realised that the similarities between our great leader and myself run much deeper than first imagined. Both products of a flailing education, vain, verbose, megalomaniacal, egotistical and self-absorbed. There, I imagine the similarities end. Perhaps we don’t share a hairdresser. I can’t imagine him having his hair cut by a Colombian transsexual who is just back from Izmir after an operation to augment her breasts. I have checked with her, she can still see her toes. But perhaps Boris does, as he still continues to prefer the balloon brushing method of hair care! If there are those amongst you who are unsure how to address someone like this… Let’s steer Sir Keir, she prefers ‘she’, and ‘they’ are her toes. Then there is the elephant in the room. Suits are back… the attached photo of me as Captain Kirk in skin tight red Lycra only goes to show you that although you think that sitting in your ‘Captain’s Chair’ whilst wfh, doesn’t necessarily transfer to the office environment, and whatever Trekkie fantasies you may harbour, get ship shape, or ship out. This is an Enterprise free zone. This photograph was also the reason why a certain actor unsubscribed from the Newsletter, I expect you to follow in droves… Envy… I felt upon revision, best not to attach the photo. If you feel you can’t do without it, lease send a stamp, self-addressed envelope and a postal order for £5, and I’ll see what I can do! |