A nudge is as good as a wink!

A little something for the weekend?

My apologies for disturbing you, I know one or two of you are either relaxing by a pool or on a beach somewhere warm, smug in the knowledge that we are not basking in a heatwave at home.

Oh irony, well I’ve stopped now, Raoul does hate it when I take over his chores. Those of you queueing at a border controls across Europe, my commiserations, but I voted to remain, and as I can feel the cold breath of winter from our near neighbours, it is time to get the home fires burning. If we create enough pollution and burn a great big hole in the ozone layer we will have weather to die for, and no need to leave the country we got back! Ibiza, no chance you can’t hold a candle to Cromer!

Mother Nature is fickle, and what is worse she is being paid less than Father Time, but no sooner had we started to compare this summer to the glorious summer of 1976 when she brings autumn forward.

With this to read, perhaps you might just put that riveting book down, you know the one on the “History of Oil and Kerosene Lamps” (non-illustrated edition), or perhaps you have now moved onto the “Altitudinal distribution patterns of Alpine plants”, wake me up before you gogo!

I was almost sweet sixteen in 1976, like a young Les McKeown, well apart from the tartan strides and outrageous accent, so even those of you without a background in astrophysics should be able to work that one out. Forty-five days without rain, stand pipes in the street and temperatures of over 25C, pah, memorable summer of 2017 my whatsit, grow a beard and man-up.

Well, I see the little silhouette of a man Scaramucci, Scaramucci has fandangoed his way straight out of the White House. Apparently his expletive tirades we too much for the Big D, but what Big D didn’t know is that the more we swear, the more trustworthy we are perceived to be. So ^$*” ^ *%*£ *$ you!

I feel so much better now I’ve got that off my chest, don’t seem to feel any different, I suppose once a snake oil salesman! Perhaps Tony was coming from a much lower base, and I guess the only way was up.

Trump’s Presidency is starting to resemble a Netflix Original series, Netflix and chill… eeeeewwww, Big D at your side, strategically placed tie, doesn’t bare thinking about, don’t even countenance the thought!

This side of the pond our lot are in recession, in their respective constituency surgeries perhaps and like your Doctor an appointment isn’t available until after the next election. No talk of staycationing this year.

Well this was a brief ditty to remind you to look at the ‘Daily Deals’, keep a careful eye out, I might offer up my gran at any time!

 

Copyright © 2017 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

A Brief Moment in Time

Making a bid for the Swiss border

My phone buzzed insistently in the dark. For goodness sake, now I’m awake, what do you want?

Fifty seven Whatsapp messages, from anonymous of Washington; apparently his boss doesn’t like the way he dresses! Has his boss taken a long look in a mirror recently? So I sent anonymous a single, supportive response. ‘Pull yourself together. Never wear clogs with a dress and it is not something worth resigning over’. Just don’t ‘Ask Andy’, I’m going back to sleep.

He hasn’t replied, job done!

Fashion advice Donald style!

So, what should I do now, go back to running the free world?

Scarymucci, Scarymucci do you do the Fandango?

Those are the benefits of running a business with friends in 119 countries, or as some of you would have it said, I’m a bloke with a hobby that allows him to just skip off around the world on a whim! Sorry that hurts, but you all still want to come back as me. Please join the back of the queue, it stretches back to the gates of Hades, where Old Nick stands weeping at the loss of his disciples, but he keeps busy by weeding out the stragglers.

It’s a cause and you need to be committed to it, or at least be committed to be in it. Perhaps I could be the leader of a cult, a little glitterati, it sounds so much more sinister than the leader of the gang I am!

I could have something here, I’m on a roll. Apparently it’s what is called momentum, however Jezza is using that one, perhaps he will start criticising Tom Watson’s suits. At this rate I might as well shut up shop with the number of people sticking their oar in to tell us how we should, or should not dress. I will run for office as a MEP, on second thoughts that horse has bolted and the stable door is closing fast.

Spotted in London the elusive Cannoli

The BBC has been forced to publish the salaries of all employees earning over £150,000, which means Jezza would not be on the list. On a personal note, I think all of those people from the BBC who shop here are worth every penny.

Jeremy uses trains a lot and he will be happy that they are talking about scrapping the elitist luxury of First Class travel on some journeys, not a bad premise as long as it’s not on the ones I want to use. I will need some private space to make my own small Hadron Collider, once completed I will be able to travel the Circle Line for an eternity as if in a vortex. A huge factor in my favour has been the removal of the doors from the carriages leaving my copies of my Bradshaw’s Model Slope Angle flashcards floating as if weightless and in perpetual motion.

These are not to be confused with Bradshaw’s 1913 edition with margin notes used by MP.

I am not the new Doctor, I will not be responsible for tardiness.

The view from dinner at Il Moro

Copyright © 2017 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.