Luggage

Following last month’s newsletter, I have had a note from my accountant asking me to stop wasting jokes. He said it costs too much money and I should know better.

Oh, what a joyless life I live!

Then that’s the problem with accountants, they are always ganging up on me, apparently there is safety in numbers!!!

I have set up new collaboration with a luggage maker in Italy.

The first pieces have now arrived, and the results are spectacular.

Made in a very soft brown calf leather and trimmed with orange leather handles and stitching they are limited to 3 pieces in each design.

Inside they are lined with brown cotton canvas and orange leather trim.

So firstly; for the man who has everything, a shirt carrier at £295

Shirt Carrier

Shirt Carrier

Shirt Carrier Inside

Secondly: a computer bag at £450

Computer Case

Computer Case

Thirdly; a carry-on wheelie at £750

Carry On

Carry On

Then there is of course the wedding photo!

Wedding Photo

Wedding Photo

And finally the Roll Bag, that isn’t a Roll Bag, but a suit carrier priced at £690. Sadly these are either all sold or on hold for people. I may make some more, in the same colour because of demand, but it will only be another 3, we will then change the colour combination.

Not a Roll Bag

Not a Roll Bag

It's a suit carrier

It’s a suit carrier

 

Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

May Newsletter 2016

Mothers!

Mine will be 88 in a few weeks. So I felt it might be a good idea to spend a few days with her because on the actual day I will no doubt be in Ibiza, celebrating it on her behalf!

However, the weekend did create a few interesting moments.

Some of you will have heard me tell of her epic levels of fitness, and the 80 steps she climbs at least once a day to her front door. It is not a pilgrimage worshipped, but a trip to recycle the empties! She’d raise a glass to that.

In my case, the grape didn’t fall far from the vine.

Living in Somerset, getting around can be problematic, the local bus company has just gone bust and taxis are few and far between. So if my brother and I are ‘Casa Mama’ she likes to get out and about.

This last weekend was glorious, long days, cloudless skies and warm sunshine.

On the Monday we went to the Valley of the Rocks in Lynton and my mother decided she was going to walk the South West Coast Path. The path although tarmacked, is only 3 feet wide with a sheer drop of 300 feet to the sea below on one side, and has no railing. Mum set off at a pace that would have Paula Radcliffe breathing hard.

Valley of the Rocks - The South West Coast Path

Valley of the Rocks – The South West Coast Path

What I have failed to mention is that my mother suffers from Macular Degeneration and carries a white stick at all times! It is known as the ‘Nutkin Slayer’ due to the number of squirrels that have perished at its hand. When I ask mum about the state of her eyesight she pulls the Donald Pleasance trick from ‘The Great Escape’, I can’t tell you how many damn pins I have stood on in her kitchen.

I jogged along at her shoulder for well over a mile ensuring she didn’t make a hasty Brexit, then she ignored my offer of directions and we ended up a mile from the car. This lady wasn’t for turning, so whilst she sat and sipped a cup of Earl Grey, I jogged back to fetch it.

Mother, you want to walk WHERE?

Mother, you want to walk WHERE?

We adjourned for lunch at The Black Venus in Challacombe, and before you ask she wasn’t the one of the ‘Three Graces’ that was banished for bad behaviour. It is a lovely pub, with wonderful food, and great service.

http://blackvenusinn.co.uk

I have oft complained that there is nowhere local to my mother for a decent meal, but it seems times have changed. OK, my mother doesn’t drive; thankfully, and Challacombe is too far to go for an evening meal, however it was a wonderful treat for us.

On the list next time for mum and a must, is Reeves in Dunster. Absolutely fantastic is all I can say; the fact the sun was shining and we were sat in a walled garden dating back to the Norman Conquest looking at Dunster Castle only added to the pleasure of it. I shall pack mum into a taxi, or worse still get one of her octogenarian friends to drive her, the Yarn Market opposite has been standing for nearly a millennium, what could happen?

http://www.reevesrestaurantdunster.co.uk
At least you’ll read about it here!

Before you ask, I have been abroad this month; I may have been to Ibiza. 

Yes OK, twist my arm, it’s where I started the month. But now you’ve got me started!

Haircut?

Haircut?

My friends had a suitable haircut after last year, the marina is still the tripping hazard it always was. Oh, come on; not like that.

Queen Scratch

Queen Scratch

Neil and Scratch are on amazing form. The master continues to ply his trade, and I am starting to see shoots of maturity in his behaviour. He has taken up cycling, although from our conversations, it seems he is cycling mainly downhill. We lunched at Puerto de Cielo, a chiringuito perched high on a cliff near to San Antonio, a far flung place, yet sat on the next table was a client of mine from Miami. I am now world famous (I know not for what!), but you are now reading this odd little ditty in 117 countries. Reading may be too strong a word, but the pictures do paint a thousand emoticons! 😉

The mighty man at work. His genius is his art.

Inkadelic

Inkadelic

We Club Tropicana’d it at Pikes for an afternoon before I allowed Neil to do a little work.

Is that the Bus Stop?

Is that the Bus Stop?

The following day I left Ibiza and headed for Mallorca for 24 hours, and our new cycling base. Adam you have duped me once too often, not satisfied with the Velcro running suit, you tempted me with…. I’d rather not say! Well OK, a spa and a Raki massage. The voice plays tricks on the ears on a mobile phone! It turned out to be 24 hours of Ikea, first in the store and then constructing chest of drawers, after chest of drawers and Adam stood over me, stop watch in hand. I left a broken man, but at least with all my parts intact!

However there is a German Schloss devoid of 15ft of BB Italia leather sofa, tables and chairs, how all that fell off the back of lorry I’ll never know!

My feet had barely touched the ground, when I headed for Florence and Milan. Cloth from Andrea for a lucky few and Milan for ties.

So ice cream… Ooops

Fondente!

Fondente!

Photos of Monica Bellucci. 

SPQR - Monica Bellucci

SPQR – Monica Bellucci

Try saying it.

Sapphire rings.

Should have put a ring on it...

Should have put a ring on it…

Wake up, I’ve not finished yet!

I stayed at Fifty Eight Suite in Milan. Guys, superb thank you so very much. Comfort and style in the centre of Milan.

http://www.fiftyeightmilano.it

On the way back

On the way back

So into the finishing straight.

May has also been cultural. An evening of Mozart’s Requiem, by candlelight in St. Martin’s in the Fields and a scary afternoon watching of watching a dozen Punch and Judy shows, tucked away in Covent Garden. Oh no you didn’t, Oh yes I did, and I have the mental scars to prove it!

Mozart - He shoots, he scores

Mozart – He shoots, he scores


Mental Scars

Mental Scars

A little stock, for those who are interested, the beach towels are back and at least you can dry the rain off, if you don’t get to lie in the sun! For those of you who are that way inclined, or prone to lying down…

Carp Beach Towel - SOLD OUT

Carp Beach Towel – SOLD OUT


Crane Beach Towel

Crane Beach Towel

As it was a Sundae I went to The Colony Grill at The Beaumont Hotel, and as if by magic this appeared.

Sundae Lunch

Sundae Lunch

Finally I leave with one of my mother’s gems. We were talking culture, well, mum was talking and I was nodding as if to show a faint understanding of what she was talking about. In discussion she spoke of Keneth Brannagh, and how he has moved on and his mantle is now being carried by the likes of ‘Cummerbitch’…

After those of you who thought last month’s photo was of me, this is not my Mother!

Not Mother!

Not Mother!

Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

April Newsletter

So hot on the heels of the last Newsletter, another.

The Champagne tasting has been and gone, places were like hens teeth; in fact you may have had more chance of winning the Lottery, depending on your postcode!

The Four Graces

The Four Graces

This one involved the ‘Four Graces of Champagne’, Joy, Beauty, Charm and the other one that appears when you have over indulged on the other three, Abstinence.

We partied until late into the night, well the Royal ‘We’ as I was abstaining. The mere possibility that my gout may be returning had me reaching for a glass, of water!

Since the last Newsletter you may be relieved to hear that I haven’t ventured beyond the M25 until now, and with a hop, skip and a jump I arrived to see a couple clients in Cascais and Lisbon, how this international lothario toils for his trade?

The view from up here

The view from up here

I only mentioned the M25 because I feel that London is now a nation State bounded by this giant ring road. Shortly after June 23rd Boris will set up the Schengerland Treaty, as in Schengerland, Schengerland, Schengerland!

All people living outside our borders (M25) will be required to leave their regional accent behind; park their cars where here is no Brexit, talk Estuary, and hop on a ‘Bendy Bus’ or a ‘Boris Bike’ and cycle down the empty motorways which now act as cycle lanes, dodging the buses, taxis, Uber drivers and the escaped zombies from 28 Days Later.

Unless you really are heading for Secret Cinema and the interactive experience of appearing in ‘28 Days Later’, it will seem like a normal Friday late night in Shoreditch, with just a little more make-up and a little more effort with your costume.

Having experienced Secret Cinema in the form of ‘Back to the Future’, I will be intrigued to see how the ’28 Days Later’ zombie fest fares.

I was talking about the regions, and the BBC is producing a spin off to Eastenders called Red Water set in Ireland, using only Irish actors. Red Water; Irish stereotyping? Yes, I know there is a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not going searching for it, I know what a rebellious lot you are. The BBC should do better than that.

Are we going to have a Liverpool spin-off called ‘Like, like, like’, one in Newcastle called ‘Cartoon’, another set in Somerset called ‘Sheepdip’ and lastly one set in the Labour Party starring Ken Livingstein!

What about subtitles for those of us who haven’t got a clue what any of them are saying?

Oh, Utopia!

Your Excellency, once again you are spoiling us with your references to Greek Mythology. I mention this only in homage to our great leader Boris whose mighty intellect is a shining beacon to us all lesser mortals. Do you think I may be being ironic?

Young Jake has finally expressed his exasperation at watching Champions League football and the banana skin that everybody slips on when confronted by the mighty Barcelona. It must be tough when playing against possibly the best team in the world; and the officials.

Clearly this is my opinion and bears absolutely reference to what has been going on in Panama. It seems another round of revelations should be forthcoming shortly.

The last time I played on a level playing field anything close to this was at Yeovil Town’s old Huish Park ground.

Here is a photo taken by a drone in the 1950’s, except in those days I think they were called airships?

Huish Road Yeovil

Huish Park – Yeovil

As a slight 17 year old winger, cutting inside to cross was an uphill task with a reported drop from corner to corner of 8 feet.

So I left base camp, on went the crampons, my ice pick in my right hand and a 2 stone pig’s bladder at my feet, I climbed towards the penalty area. I remember the game being much faster in those days. Until I was scythed down by the boulder rolling downhill that was their centre half.

Leaving on a jet plane

Leaving on a jet plane

In this modern age, you have to be so careful what you say. I had been writing this on a plane, as always, I hear you say.

Breakfast was served, which I wasn’t eating because I had to feed you intellectually, when I noticed the young lady next to me had devoured her entire breakfast in a matter of moments. Being the third Duke of Wimborne I offered her mine. Well no, not exactly, the words I used were “Would you like my sausage?”

No sooner had I uttered these words than I found myself sitting alone at the back of the plane, without my Champagne! What is the world coming to?

This summer’s Ibiza outfit? Look away now or go and make a cup of tea if easily offended!

Floats like a butterfly, stings like a… (you can finish the quote)!

Yikes!!!

Yikes!!!

I bet he drove one of these in his youth!

The Bertone styled Alfa Romeo concept Carabo.

Origami or Paper Folded?

Origami or Paper Folded?

Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

Shirts

Floral White alongside Blue, Turquoise and Green Linen Shirts (100% Linen)

Floral White alongside Blue, Turquoise and Green Linen Shirts (100% Linen) £145

White and Blue cotton Airtex (100% cotton)

White and Blue cotton Airtex (100% cotton) £145

Liberty Print (100% Cotton) alongside Orange and White Linen Shirts (100% Linen)

Liberty Print (100% Cotton) alongside Orange and White Linen Shirts (100% Linen) £145 and £175 for the Liberty Print

Dark Denim Blue with Orange Stitching and Pink Shirt (100% Linen)

Dark Denim Blue with Orange Stitching and Pink Shirt (100% Linen) £145

Blue Tonic and Pink Tonic Shirts (100% Linen)

Blue Tonic and Pink Tonic Shirts (100% Linen) £145

Navy Blue & Orange Circles alongside Denim Blue and Peach Linen Shirts (100% Linen)

Navy Blue & Orange Circles alongside Denim Blue and Peach Linen Shirts (100% Linen) £145

Patterned Navy Blue Shirt

Patterned Navy Blue Shirt £145

Bold Check and Light Denim Shirt

Bold Check and Light Denim Shirt £145

Diamond Patterned Navy Blue Shirt

Diamond Patterned Navy Blue Shirt £145

Large Check Blue and Blue Self Patterned Shirt

Large Check Blue and Blue Self Patterned Shirt £145

Navy Blue with Grey Jersey Detail

Navy Blue with Grey Jersey Detail £145

A Newsletter lost in time

So let’s STOP the PRESS.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (The World’s Greatest footballer) has spoken, he will stay at Paris St Germain if; if they replace the Eiffel Tower with a statue of him, the arrogance of the man. I admit I had to climb down from the top of my column in Trafalgar Square just to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. Surely, the answer is in his name, it’s all about ‘him’.

Looking down on you?

Looking down on you?

It seems like and age.

Where have I been?

Writer’s block?

Have I been preparing for hibernation like a snake, fattened up for Chinese New Year, and Snake Soup?

Gong Hey Fat Choy.

Have I adopted the Northern European model of taking a mid-season break? Have I adopted a Northern European model?

Have I been travelling?

Is Donald Trump a catholic?

So since the last newsletter, it’s been Venice, Bologna, Florence, Rome and Hong Kong again, Rome, Florence,Bologna and The Wolseley!

I’d like to thank all of you I have shared a meal with, in each of those locations, hence the reference to snake soup, although they were eclipsed by Luk Yu Teahouse in Hong Kong and their house speciality Pig Lung and Almond Milk Soup.

I was discussing this with young Jason at The Wolseley this morning, as I tucked into my Marmite on toast; Jason prefers Bovril on his, because, and I quote, “I prefer something a little beefier!” Ooh, you are awful!

In Venice my favourite restaurant was shut for a month, as were so many others for a holiday. So pickings were scarce and the tide was high.

By the Rialto

By Rialto, not Canaletto

So I bought these interesting over-boots which had a half-life of 2 hours and sprung a leak in the middle of Piazza San Marco, leaving me to hop glamorously to the nearest duck board and dry land!

I love Venice in January. The streets are quiet, at night the mist comes down, the waters rise, an eerie silence pervades the canals and I can put on a little red cape and scare people all I want!

It’s assumed that Venice shuts down at about 9.30 in the evening, but there are little, late night bars tucked away all over Venice. So, just when you think everyone has snuck off back to Mestre, you can turn a corner and there it is, a bar glowing neon in a darkened alley way and a final cocktail to take the edge off the chilly night air, and cut through the mist.

I wonder is ‘Venice Mist’ the same as ‘Scotch Mist’, or can you get mist anywhere?

Booties!

New Boots and……

Gone Dollars?

Gone Dollars?

Day view from my window

Day view from my window

Night view

Night view

I prefer to arrive in Venice by train, but it was not to be this trip. I love the fact that you walk down the platform after ‘alighting’ from the train and step outside to be greeted by the Grand Canal, rather than Alan Clark (he of the dairies) in red trousers, hurtling past on a Boris Bike!

The next day I hopped aboard a train and headed for Bologna, Emanuele’s cooking and Florence for the Pitti Uomo Trade Fair.

There's nothing on TV these days

There’s nothing on TV these days

Emanuele never ceases, never rests, he continues to produce consistently excellent food and an atmosphere and conviviality only matched by Issy at About Thyme, and Vash at the Cork and Bottle. It’s not only about the food, but about the people, the camaraderie, the conversations, not forgetting the food, time stands still, and the glass remains full.

Hard Cheese?

Hard Cheese?

I was working on next Winter’s collection, and what goodies I have in store for you will have to wait until next winter we have to get through summer first.

The summer stock is starting to arrive, and some interesting new developments are afoot. These I will outline in a following emails.

I followed this up with a day trip to Rome, for nefarious reasons, a long way to go for lunch, but I had my reasons.

I must admit, it was a struggle.

It followed a Champagne tasting with Vash, where Ayala and Bollinger flowed as if it were a mountain spring, and a 1.30 am finish was followed by a dash in a taxi to the airport at 4.30 am!

But breakfast Pietrolucci style and lunch at Edy, had me functioning on all twelve cylinders again. I’m now chanelling my inner Alan Clark, who as we all know should have been Foreign Secretary, if only he could have got Maggie to listen to him, sadly he was too busy fantasising about her driving a tank!

He’d have told those damn Europeans where to go, put a portcullis, a draw bridge and a moat (all on expenses) at the end of the Channel Tunnel and had this country back on it’s feet whilst doing donuts in his XK120 outside Fortnum and Mason.

Is that Mrs T in the passenger seat looking a trifle green?

IMG_6960

Strawberry Fields forever

Strawberry Fields forever

On the Saturday night I headed for Hong Kong to look after my growing group of friends and clients there.

Once again home was The Landmark Mandarin Oriental, and they do there very best to make it feel like home. So much like home, that the room had a dessert fridge, doesn’t everyone have one?

Dessert Fridge?

Dessert Fridge?

Now back on Terra Firma, I shall be adding further cities to my list, so if anyone requires my services in another location, I will entertain the thought!

More emails to follow, with lots of new stock.

 

Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As one door closes…

Dear Doessteviewonderchooseportillosclothing (a.k.a. -Disgruntled) full email address withheld by me,

In reply to your comment on the subject of Red Trousers left on our website. I am happy to say your red trousers weren’t left on the website, just the comment:

“Could you please clarify whether your shop door is ‘closed’ during trading hours and one rings or knocks to effect entry, as in jewellery shops in less salubrious areas?”

Firstly, I had to look up the meaning of salubrious.

Secondly, The Jewellery Channel does not appear to have a door, a portal perhaps, I’m good on portals.

My sincerest apologies, unless this of course was a Sunday, when we are CLOSED.

If you could furnish me with a time and date I will check the security camera and look into this. I have dusted the door for fingerprints, along with those of our members of staff. We even tried the door using a key.

I refer you to my newsletter of July 2015 where I talk of the special powers with which I have now been blessed.

Generally we greet people with open arms, open a bottle or two; even roll out the red carpet on occasion.

In my experience I have known people to employ others to knock on doors and ring bells for them.

It was a game I played as a child and only mention this gingerly, as it may have been an act of gross misconduct by a junior member of our staff; or were you using the ‘Force’ to stare at me through the window and effect entrance by these means, I will take the appropriate disciplinary action.

I shall give them a bonus!

I’ve just stabbed myself with a needle, or something like that!

PS: You’re barred, and I know who you are!