A big thank you to Jeremy who I continue admire for the constant progress he makes.
http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/esmagazine/my-london-jeremy-king-a3199086.html
More to follow.
Have an excellent evening, morning, afternoon. Delete as necessary.
Dear Doessteviewonderchooseportillosclothing (a.k.a. -Disgruntled) full email address withheld by me,
In reply to your comment on the subject of Red Trousers left on our website. I am happy to say your red trousers weren’t left on the website, just the comment:
“Could you please clarify whether your shop door is ‘closed’ during trading hours and one rings or knocks to effect entry, as in jewellery shops in less salubrious areas?”
Firstly, I had to look up the meaning of salubrious.
Secondly, The Jewellery Channel does not appear to have a door, a portal perhaps, I’m good on portals.
My sincerest apologies, unless this of course was a Sunday, when we are CLOSED.
If you could furnish me with a time and date I will check the security camera and look into this. I have dusted the door for fingerprints, along with those of our members of staff. We even tried the door using a key.
I refer you to my newsletter of July 2015 where I talk of the special powers with which I have now been blessed.
Generally we greet people with open arms, open a bottle or two; even roll out the red carpet on occasion.
In my experience I have known people to employ others to knock on doors and ring bells for them.
It was a game I played as a child and only mention this gingerly, as it may have been an act of gross misconduct by a junior member of our staff; or were you using the ‘Force’ to stare at me through the window and effect entrance by these means, I will take the appropriate disciplinary action.
I shall give them a bonus!
I’ve just stabbed myself with a needle, or something like that!
PS: You’re barred, and I know who you are!
So, I spend a couple of days in Italy, sitting around eating, working my fingers to the bone on next winter’s collection, because as you know I work in fashion, not of a fashion!
In a quiet moment at Bologna Airport I am asked for my opinion, hold back, Moi?
And I return to this.
Any one wanting red trousers will have to wait, such has been the clamour for these blighted fashion items, between the Telegraph and Country Life we were sold out before dawn.
Well OK, that’s not entirely true, they are lying in a lead lined box and heading for North Korea.
The debate may well be taken to the front pages; overtaking the European referendum and the American Presidential race in the front of peoples minds.
Donald Trump in red trousers? Think I’ll leave it there…
Me and my big mouth!
A new addition to the fold.
Amongst a few new exciting developments for this season, we are now able to offer Made to Measure Polo Shirts.There is a large range of colours and finishes.
I have done my best to road test them, and I deem them Ibiza suitable: as you know; if they work there, they will work anywhere.
Ordering now will mean you will have them in time for Opening Parties.
Sadly these are not available in Red Lycra, which is just as well.
Made to Measure Polo Shirt – Various Colours and Knits available
Made to Measure Polo Shirt – Various Colours and Knits available
White, Mid Grey, Dark Grey, Black and Navy Blue (100% Cotton)
White, Off White, Light Grey, Blue, Dark Green, Green Cotton Jersey (100% Cotton)
White, Light Blue and Blue Cotton Pique (100% Cotton)
Green and Brown Pique (100% Cotton)
Denim Blue Pique (100% Cotton)
Terry Cloth (100% Cotton)
Navy Blue, Midnight Blue, Mid Grey, Light Grey and White Wool Pique (100% Wool)
Some new shirts have arrived and they are the first of the new season, with more to follow.
White with contrast Red Buttonholes and Blue Checks with Red Squares
Light Blue and Dark Desaturated Blue Small Pattern
Blue Striped Linen (100% Linen)
Blue and Gold Small Circular Patterns
Dark Blue Circles and White with Contrast Navy Blue Buttonholes
Mid Blue Circle Patterned
Mid Blue and Light Blue Self Pattern
Below we have a selection of jackets and gilets available and also a casual jacket that is unavailable at the moment as it is already sold out.
Reversible Brown Leather Jacket
Reversible Leather Jacket (Reversed)
Light Green Nylon Body and Knitted Sleeves – Please note: This garment is currently out of stock and we are in the process of trying to source some more
Dark Green Nylon Body and Knitted Sleeves – Please note: This garment is currently out of stock and we are in the process of trying to source some more
Navy Blue Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Dark Green Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Orange Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Khaki Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Yellow Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Light Green Nylon Micro Down Filled Gilet
Navy Blue Nylon Micro Down Filled Over Shirt
Copyright © 2016 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.
Io Sono Amore, I am Love.
An admirer sent me a film for Christmas.
Yes I do have an admirer. OK, OK, they are more of a stalker, but beggars can’t be choosers, and after Siri and Cortana anything is a bonus, but they did keep me company whilst updating to Windows 10.
Apparently in my apricot cashmere sweater I look like Tilda Swinton in the aforementioned film!!! Are you blind?
I am starting to get very worried, I suppose it could be worse, I could be the bunny in Fatal Attraction when I’d rather be dancing with Jessica Rabbit, or cuddled up under a throw with Pussy Galore.
If you are not interested in football, go off and make a cup of green tea now. Yes, I know it’s the written word so this will still be here when you get back, soldier on it’s not that bad.
Woe betide anyone who ventures across my path, Zoro has my back. Poor little Sepp appeared for his press conference sporting what could have been a duelling scar, or a souvenir from Saint Nick who takes no prisoners with the bad boys this time of year.
No one slaps me on the cheek with a white kid glove and gets away with it! On the other hand it could have been the spoke of an umbrella wielded by a very small person associated with Michel ‘The Bulgar’ Plantini. However as Sepp ‘The Mushroom’ is still with us, we will have to assume the former.
Zoro
Player power seems to be putting an end to managerial careers here, there and everywhere. Jose, poor Jose, and Luis Van Gaal, both appear to be suffering or have suffered from this ague. To give you a special insight into the everyday struggles in their world I managed to sneak into the Chelsea dressing room, and the Manchester United car park to see what has been going on.
It has been suggested that Simon Cowell is being lined up by Roman to replace Jose in the long term, make-up artists to replace club doctors and Julio Iglesias will take over from Rafa Benitez at Real Madrid, “When I begin, the beguine…….”
Chelsea?
Stretford End?
Then there is the referee Howard Webb, who said that there were fewer poor decisions made by referees on Boxing Day because they were chauffeured to their games. So not having to make a decision whether to turn left or right on their way to the game meant they were less stressed and improved their performance. I refer to my earlier posts about referees and as Aristotle said, ‘Quod erat demonstrandum’.
Now we need to spare a thought for young Luke Jake. It’s not about the parlous state of things at Wolves which we will gloss over using a matt finish, but about his attempt in true ‘Likely Lads’ fashion to avoid any mention of what might have happened in Star Wars XXIII, ‘The Force goes back to sleep again’.
He’s been walking round for weeks wearing noise cancelling headphones customized to look like antlers, and if by some terrible twist of fate he’s not had them on, just at the mere mention of his name, Luke Jake has stuck his fingers in his ears and started singing La, La, La as if he were Naughty Boy.
He has now seen the film, he seems much calmer.
I have been a busy boy, and, please don’t choke on your Corn Flakes. By ‘boy’ I mean it as a turn of phrase, not that I view myself as such. Although between the ‘potions’ and the silken hands of Raoul my therapist, I resemble a young Liberace!
I have been circumnavigating the globe, Florence, Bologna and Hong Kong, in a week. So Sam, dry your eyes I now have enough miles for a free latte in Waitrose.
Hong Kong
Hong Kong was a ‘Coals to Newcastle’ trip, to catch up with several VIPs, see Chic and Niles Rodgers, rub Udderbelly, and see the Anthony Gormley sculptures. It was short, intense and fun.
Chic
All set for a little cocktail party in my suite, and some dealings with the Carnie Folk.
Martini
Macaroons
I would like to thank everyone at The Landmark Mandarin Oriental for their magnificent hospitality and incredible levels of service, which all made it a very enjoyable and successful trip.
I will be back….
Apologies to anybody who got a scarf for Christmas, that was way off. I have spent the Christmas period sporting a production sample of our new ‘Rudolph Mankini’, complete with red nose.
Top 10 presents I was made aware of this Christmas:
1: Dry Stone wall building course.
2: A delivery bike for a Volpe be-suited friend whose job it is to deliver his wife’s exotic, baked creations to cafes around our great metropolis.
3: A month’s adoption of a Mayfly for September!
4: A second eighth of a Cow, which made it a quarter.
5: A pint of double cream, because apparently he always forgets to buy it for the Christmas pudding.
6: Also a recipe for Bubble ‘n Squeak, sorry, sorry, a signed copy of Macbeth. Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and caldron bubble…. Back to the Premiership I see.
7: A Fashion Magazine in Chinese for an 11 year old nephew.
8: The Sepp close shave, heal that nick kit!
9: A new songwriter for Robbie Williams. I know, who he?
10: A new pair of spectacles for a football referee, according to Luke Jake it’s any of them.
11: A scarf?
As always I like to help a friend, and he offered me the car in exchange for this little uplift, I’m now headed for the Manchester United car park!
http://verticalproductions.co.uk/portfolio-items/new-audi-r8-v10-promo-2015/
As you all wonder how these get written, here is a further insight into my wonderful world. I’d like to thank Lyle Lovett for writing some of my favourite lyrics, and for showing that anything is possible; he was after all married to Julia Roberts.
If I had a boat I’d sail out on the ocean, and if I had a pony I’d ride it on my boat.
Copyright © 2015 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.
There is some new stock…
But read on!
I would like to inform of a little trip I shall be undertaking at the end of the month.
From the afternoon of the 29th November I shall be in Hong Kong until late evening on Wednesday 2nd December.
I shall be looking after the sartorial needs of several of my friends either based, living or just passing through. If you would like me also look after your sartorial needs whilst I am there, please feel free to get in touch. Hopefully I will have enough time to catch up with everyone.
You will be able to find me at The Landmark Mandarin Oriental, and not Christmas shopping.
I look forward to seeing you, sadly my suitcase is already full for those of you who were thinking of hitching a lift
Wool/Microfibre Gilet
Loro Piana Rain System Blouson lined in Faux Fur
My Football Coat: flannel parka lined with faux fur in Grey and then Blue
In Blue!
Microfibre 3/4 Coat
Microfiber Coat with removable liner in Grey and then in Blue
Surprise!!!
Let’s start with a photo of a lovely lady draped in fur!
Scratchie
Thank you Neil for the lovely photo of Scratch and many congratulations on the work with ProHunter.
ProHunter and Inkadelic
So on with business…
SPECTRE – Pah!
Jose Mourinho, I have nothing to say…
And now I have another stalker, a couple in fact. They are constantly pestering me, vying for my attention. Each time I pick up my phone or go to type on my laptop they are there. What can I help you with?
Siri
I have been toiling over the VAT despite the attentions of Siri and Cortana when I should be treading grapes, hopefully one may lead to the other and since I’ve started on note for those oenophiles amongst you, I will add a little sulphur, a splash of ‘amster and an ‘int of elderberries.
A big thank you those who turned up for the wine tasting. Vash was on fantastic form, not a barrel tossed or broken, the wines equally so, a solitary white amongst the wintry reds.
Wine Tasting
You may have read it, but if not there’s been a little buzz about Volpe, in the meja, so to speak. No, no, no, my behaviour has not made front page news yet again, but there is time and there is Hope, and her friends Faith and Chastity.
The Three Graces, and me the 3rd Duke of Wybourne in the Victoria and Albert Museum at 3am with my reputation. Oh daughters of Zeus save me from the gaze of Maggie, this Lady is not for turning!
Time Out and the Daily Mail have been keen to get my opinions on a whole gamut of news and social issues. So I’ll have to be careful what I say.
Should I knock the newsletter back a cog or two?
Do you really think so, or shall I continue as usual and try to “Blow the bloody doors orf”? As Cris my old school chum says, “It’s a bit too late to change”, he’s only 21 and in love. (Cris, you owe me a fiver).
I am still embroiled in my birthday celebrations and have no plans to shuffle off into the mists surrounding the moor quite yet. The party is just getting started. I will just hand Vash my glass, and like Tantalus I will be eternally tortured by the proximity of temptation…
The 4am parties will continue and there will be blurry photos of the London Eye as I try to beat the sunrise home. The whiff of sulphur will return, and the soft cushion of earth in my Transylvanian home will await me.
I feel like Claudius without the guile, avoiding Messalina who is armed with an axe, less Derek Jacobi and more Derek and The Dominoes. I’m losing this game to a bloke in a flat cap who keeps muttering into his wrist and bears a remarkable resemblance to Gary Kasparov, all his bones are doubles.
This might all sound a bit surreal, but the legacy of the little green fairy continues.
One my friends is a bit of a geezer, the kind of bloke who’d hang you by your ankles out of a ground floor hotel window, a little bit ‘Carny’, and not to be messed with. After sealing a recent business transaction, the other side in a show of mutual respect and appreciation ushered my friend to a lock-up in a slightly less salubrious part of town to furnish him with a gift, this gift was a full size merry-go-round horse, not just the head on a pillow. How an earth he’s going to get that home to Hong Kong I’ll never know, it’s not Pegasus!
Carnival
Once again I have managed to shoehorn in Greek Mythology and more of Zeus’s dysfunctional offspring.
It seems a slightly better deal than another friend who’s just invested in 1/8th of a cow. Saw him coming, cow racing? I didn’t even think ‘cow tipping’ was a sport!
And then there’s another strange fellow who mixes his Martini’s on the engine of his Ferrari, there is a video on YouTube. Of course there is!
I feel as once again I have stepped into the pages of Alice in Sunderland. It said “Drink Me”, and so I did. I was immediately afflicted with ‘small man syndrome’, and although perfectly formed, so no change there, the glass that Vash is holding looks like a swimming pool, is that Raquel Welch waving at me from the inflatable stuffed olive? Sorry, must dash my Fantastic Voyage continues.
Finally, a bit of publicity, a good friend of mine Henry Blofeld (not the Bond villain, but Blowers of cricketing fame) and Peter Baxter, being ably supported by the lovely Valeria are touring their hilarious ‘Rogues on the Road’. Catch them whilst they are out and about, and if any of you do fancy anything Blower’s related there is always:
Blowers and Baxter
ps. I’ve been in Rome, just in case you thought I’d not been anywhere!
It’s not me!
Copyright © 2015 Adrian Holdsworth. All Rights Reserved.